Winner by a controversial decision (see below), Nick Shuley is the 2006 Sweatless Decathlon champion. Nick consistently claimed "I'm really no good at this game" and then would proceed to beat you mercilessly.

Other winners:

2nd Place - Mark Fujita
Mark cleaned house on Day 2 of the Decathlon by scoring extra points ins all 5 events. After being tied for first place with Nick Shuley, he lost in a controversial game of high card.

3rd Place - Kelly McCormick
Kelly took the early lead, and then fought off attacks by Mark and Nick in the later stages to finish in 3rd by only one point.

100 Club - Nick Shuley
Nick created the category. The 100 Club award goes to the decathlete with the most dynamic display of sweatless athleticism. Not just good, but so good that people begin to wonder about your social life. And no one encompassed this more than Nick, who made 48 shots in under 35 seconds to score 100 pts. in arcade basketball. Almost too well done, Nick.

Swampy Pits Award - James Fenelon
This award is not given. It's earned. And James earned it with his emotion, his smack talk, and his uncontrollable perspiration.

Thanks to everyone who participated. It was a blast. Special thanks to William for making the awesome trophy, the sweatbands and the medals. Also thanks to the little known Sweatless Decathlon godfather, Jeff Neely.

Day 3: Is this thing OVER yet???

Today being the final two events of a grueling race, many of us threw in the towel. But not Nick Shuley. Nick battled back to tie Mark Fujita for first place in the overall standings.

But instead of the amazing photo-finish opportunity with the aforementioned "breath holding contest" to determine the overall winner, Nick instead informed us that he has a medical disability that prevents him from holding his breath. Interesting how we find this out on the LAST DAY!!! Yeah, buddy. So instead, Nick opts for a game of complete chance, and both Mark and Nick draw one card from a deck and see who's is highest. That's right, no skill, no challenge. Nick pulled up a 6 and began to cry. But then Mark turned up his card. It was a 3. Nick quickly contended they were tears of joy and that he didn't actually start crying until after Mark showed his card. Video replays the event were inconclusive. Nick later pointed out that Adam Morrison cried and it was deemed "passionate" by Michael Jordan.

So that's how it ends folks. A controversial finish that will leave much to debate over the off-season. That's right, there will be another decathlon in some for or fashion. Congrats Shuley!

DECATHLETES:
------------------

.................PP...DT..FS...BW..AH..PL...SB...BB..BO..TX..TOTAL
*Nick ..........06...09...09...06...10...06...06...10...06...09...77
*Mark F .......06...06...06...10...08...08...10...09...06...06...77
.Kelly..........09...10...06...06...07...06...09...07...10...06...76
.John..........06...06...10...06...06...09...06...06...09...10...74
*Josiah........10...06...06...09...09...06...06...06...08...07...73
*Mike..........08...06...06...08...06...10...07...06...07...06...68
*Alice..........06...06...06...06...06...06...08...08...06...08...66
*Annie.........07...06...06...07...06...07...06...06...08...06...65
*William ......06...06...08...06...06...06...06...06...06...06...62
*Martin........06...08...06...06...06...06...06...06...00...00...50
*Mark D .......06...07...07...00...00...00...00...00...10...00...30
*James.........06...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...09...00...27
.Lonie..........06...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...06...00...24
.Jeff V .........06...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...18

PP - Ping Pong, DT - Darts, FS - Foosball, BW -Bowling, AH - Air Hockey, PL - Pool, SB - Shuffleboard, BB - Arcade Basketball, BO - Bocce Ball, TX - Texas Hold 'em (* means you still need to pay)

Nick thougt 8-ball meant you could only hit the 8-ball.

Mark moving the balls while Kelly's not looking.

This has to be a violation of some kind.

Is THIS how Nick scored 81?

Day 2: And the Last Shall Become First
Well some decathletes really stepped up on Saturday while others failed to show up, literally. Despite the dwindling field of competitors, there were some fireworks of sweatless athleticism. The story of the day was Mr. Mark Fujita placing no worse than 3rd in every event, and winning two outright. Nick pulled a "Kobe" in arcade basketball, putting up 81 points in the final game. (But unlike Kobe, he did win the championship.) Mike B. bowled three straight strikes in the 10th frame to take 3rd overall in bowling, and then took first in pool. Thanks to everyone who came out and did not sweat with us. It was a blast.

We'll wrap up the decathlon this Wednesday with a team Bocce tournament and then the big Texas hold 'em tournament. Bring your best bluff glasses.

DECATHLETES:
------------------

.................PP...DT..FS...BW..AH..PL...SB...BB..BO..TX..TOTAL
*Mark F .......06...06...06...10...08...08...10...09...00...00...65
*Nick ..........06...09...09...06...10...06...06...10...00...00...62
.Kelly..........09...10...06...06...07...06...09...07...00...00...60
*Josiah........10...06...06...09...09...06...06...06...00...00...58
.John..........06...06...10...06...06...09...06...06...00...00...55
*Mike..........08...06...06...08...06...10...07...06...00...00...55
*Alice..........06...06...06...06...06...06...08...08...00...00...52
*Annie.........07...06...06...07...06...07...06...06...00...00...51
*Martin........06...08...06...06...06...06...06...06...00...00...50
*William ......06...06...08...06...06...06...06...06...00...00...50
*Mark D .......06...07...07...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...20
*James........06...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...18
.Jeff V ........06...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...18
.Lonie.........06...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...18

PP - Ping Pong, DT - Darts, FS - Foosball, BW -Bowling, AH - Air Hockey, PL - Pool, SB - Shuffleboard, BB - Arcade Basketball, BO - Bocce Ball, TX - Texas Hold 'em (* means you still need to pay)

Decathlete danger level raised to orange

Fellow decathletes,

It is with great alarm that I report that there has been an attempted ass-ination on one of our competitors. To further protect their identity, I can only say that they are in 2nd place in the overall standings. The attempt was thwarted, but it is widely agreed that this plan was in its final stages. No one was killed or injured.

The person (or persons) responisble for this attempt are still unknown, but leads are trickling in. Interviews have been conducted of several nFusion employees as well as the Deli on the Lake chef/cashier/owner. It is likely this was in response to rising tensions in the building over the last 2 days as the decathletes are heading into the most important stage of the race this Saturday.

The device was very small. About the size of a thumbtack.

The poor choice of camoflauge caused the device to be detected before any incident.

You know, some people have asked me why I haven't been talking more trash since I took the lead last night.

All I have to say is that Teddy Roosevelt knew what he was talking about when he said to "Walk softly and carry a big stick."

Consider yourself the Carribean that's about to be made into my private Yankee pool.

Well the Decathlon is off to a great start! The news of Day 1 is the "darkhorse" intern, Kelly McCormick, jumping out to a commanding lead with 25 points. And who knew Nick was better than you at almost everything! But it's early and everyone is still very much in it. Saturday will be great as the competition heats up even more!

DECATHLETES:
------------------

.................PP...DT...FS..BW..AH...PL..SB...BB..BO..TX..TOTAL
.Kelly..........09...10...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...25
*Nick ..........06...09...09...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...24
.John..........06...06...10...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...22
*Josiah........10...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...22
*Mark D .......06...07...07...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...20
*Martin........06...08...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...20
*Mike..........08...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...20
*William ......06...06...08...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...20
*Annie.........07...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...19
*Alice..........06...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...18
*James........06...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...18
.Jeff V ........06...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...18
.Lonie.........06...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...18
*Mark F.......06...06...06...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...18

PP - Ping Pong, DT - Darts, FS - Foosball, BW -Bowling, AH - Air Hockey, PL - Pool, SB - Shuffleboard, BB - Arcade Basketball, BO - Bocce Ball, TX - Texas Hold 'em (* means you still need to pay)

Yeah, so about this thing being sweatless...

Kelly, the darkhorse intern who dominated in all games not named foosball.

Nick being foosed upon.

It takes focus, dedication, and your own set of custom darts to hang with James.

Drosos drops in his 8th bullseye. No, seriously.

Another crushing serve by "Ah... I'm alright..." Nick. Liar!

The Ping Pong finals between Josiah and Kelly. Josiah proved he is the king of ping pong in a game before the finals when he remarked "it sounds like that ball has a crack in it." The man knows what a ping pong ball is supposed to sound like. King.

Here are links to "official" rules for any game in question. If you read them, you will definitely have a leg up. There are several ways to play all of these games, and we might play a little different than some of these rules. But reading this will help you dominate.

Darts - 301
Foosball
Ping Pong
8-ball
Shuffleboard
Bocce
Texas Hold 'em (no limit)

Here is the final list.

DECATHLETES:
------------------

................PP...DT..FS...BW..AH..PL...SB...BB...BO..TX..TOTAL
*Annie........00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
*Mike.........00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
*Josiah.......00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
*William .....00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
*John.........00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
.Kelly.........00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
*Jeff V........00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
*Lonie.........00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
*Martin........00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
*Nick..........00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
*Alice..........00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
*Mark F.......00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
*James........00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000
*Mark D.......00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...00...000


PP - Ping Pong, DT - Darts, FS - Foosball, BW -Bowling, AH - Air Hockey, PL - Pool, SB - Shuffleboard, BB - Arcade Basketball, BO - Bocce Ball, TX - Texas Hold 'em (* means you still need to pay)

Josiah "table Tennis" Sternfeld said....

I can't promise that I'm going to win this thing, but I will throw it out there that I'm going to dominate at the pong! There is no question, so Drosos and Livingston you've both talked a bunch of junk, but the rubber's about to meet the road my friends.

So here's a site that will have the latest points standings, photos, and host for smack talk. Enjoy.